41 weeks

Status: 41w1d/2d

We've been here once before. I'm surprisingly calm about it this time, though. Last time this was very mentally challenging for me. This time, maybe it's the experience of being here before that is keeping me calm. Maybe it's knowing these are my final days with a baby in my belly. I'm not sure. 

Here is my official 41 week photo - taken yesterday:

And here is a really sweet moment yesterday when J was trying to pep talk Little Foot into coming on 5/4 (tomorrow):

My parents arrived on Friday (2 days ago). My dad came just for the weekend, but my mom is here through the birth and for at least a week after. It's been nice having them around. J and I were able to take a nap yesterday, and today he and I got to go walk around Best Buy and a couple other stores for a few hours without the other kids. Also... Free food ;) 

Last night we were enjoying some alone time together after all the kids were in bed. It was really nice to just cuddle and talk about everything that's happening. We also decided to give Little Foot a little encouragement - hoping maybe he would get the idea and come out soon! 

I went to bed around 1130, where R (who can't seem to sleep in his own bed) was waiting for me...

Checkin' on Mr. Man

Status: 40w6d

Well, we passed up both E and T's gestations! I'm really behind in blogging, so hopefully I can catch it up later.... I haven't even talked about my 39 or 40 week appointments and we are almost 41 weeks! 

Today, we had an appointment at See Baby to check on Little Foot. My own personal comfort is to check on my little ones when they get close to a week after their due date. 

I was a little nervous for the BPP because. I've been measuring so big. Nothing to worry about - he looks perfect! AFI (fluid level) was 16, he was reactive and breathing and just awesome. Estimated weight was 9-5, so we shall see what he turns out to be! 

Is it or isn't it?

Status: 40w1d (Started  at 39w6d, but I got distracted)

A lot has happened in the last week. Probably the best way to do this is to go day by day and catch up on what went down....

Sunday 4/19 (39w1d)

This was supposed to be my last day of work before maternity leave. J and I had some downtime before I had to leave, and we took advantage of the uninterrupted cuddle time.

Around 2:30 PM, I arrived at work. I noticed I was feeling kind of crampy, but figured nothing of it because it happens on occasion. I fully expected it would go away as I got busy with my work. (Not that work is busy....) At 3:45, I started noticing the cramping was coming and going. I decided to time things and just see what was happening. Again, fully expecting it to be nothing. The contractions (yes, that's right, I'm not in denial) were a little all over the place, but seemed mostly about 5-10 min apart and 20-40 seconds.

I'm sorry, WHAT?!?!

Yeah, that's kinda what I said in my head. They weren't bad, but were definitely not comfortable. I was sitting on my ball, rolling my hips around to help with the discomfort. Around 4:30 I messaged my doula (Kim W.) on Facebook to let her know I was feeling crampy. The weather was all over the place, so we suspected that and the cuddle time had instigated the situation. (Again, why I was sure it would soon die down.) She recommended I drink a bunch of water and see if it helped calm things down. She said she was going to make sure everything was situated on her end, in case things picked up.

I continued to time them every so often - I was bored and uncomfortable. Not much else to do since I was tethered to a phone. Around 6 PM they were starting to get a little longer and stronger. When I went to the bathroom, they were so much more intense on the toilet. I was starting to get a little nervous that maybe this WAS the real deal. I didn't want to get excited, though. Around 6:15, I couldn't sit on the ball anymore and moved to standing and swaying. I was really hoping that no one was noticing what was going on in my corner of the office. I work in a 911 call center - the last thing I need is for them to be freaking out that I might be in labor!

Around 6:15 I decided I might want to let J know what was going on. I let him know I was having contractions. He asked how intense they were (which I thought was a great question - totally unexpected from him!), and I told him. He said to keep him posted.

Kim messaged me around 6:20 and told me she was "nesting" - which she says happens a lot before her clients go into labor. I let her know that the contractions weren't going away. She asked what the contractions were doing. I was about to tell her they were mostly the same, but a little more intense, but then I had another one that moved from just my pelvis up midway through my belly. Well, that was different.....

Kim then asked if walking made them go away, but it's hard to tell when you're tethered. I told her I had to be standing, and that my coworker had asked if I was uncomfortable sitting. I tried to blow it off. I had a frequent need to change positions at other times in my pregnancy, but this person never worked with me, so she wouldn't know that. Kim recommended I let my midwife know what was going on, since they might get busy with the impending storm. She also reminded me that this could possibly go on for a couple weeks. Yay.

At 6:35 I sent Debbie this text:

I updated J with the recommendation to go home. I wasn't super thrilled about it, but seeing as how things were picking up a little, I didn't disagree either. I was planning to try to make it until at least 7 PM so I could get my 4 hours of evening pay, but I didn't make it. At 6:45 I decided I was too uncomfortable to stay anymore. I told my coworker I needed to go home. She replied, "If anything changes on your way home, pull over and call us!" So much for hiding the situation....

I talked to my BFF, Sarah, on the way home. Contractions slowed, but were still there.

As soon as I got home, I went straight to my bed and assumed my favorite position in labor - leaning over a stack of pillows on my knees. I stayed that way for an hour or so. I tried to call my mom (who is on call to come from Florida to be with the kids during the birth) around 8PM, but she didn't answer texts or phone calls to either her cell or home phone. She needs to work on her "on call" skills. LOL. I sent her a final text to just call me when she got the message.

Just after that, Debbie texted to make sure I was home (see above) and then she called to see how things were going. I told her they had slowed, but were still there. According to my timer, the few that I timed around that time were 3-5 min apart and 30-60 seconds, but the intensity had gone down quite a bit. It was just lots and lots of crampy pressure in my pelvis. Debbie told me to eat dinner, take a bath, and go to bed. Things would either pick up that night or it would be "soon".

"Soon" is such a relative term when you are 39 weeks pregnant. Yes, I can imagine it will happen in the next 3 weeks. LOL

After the kids went to bed, I finally got up and had dinner  - or what I could manage to eat), took a bath, and had a few sips of wine to see if it would slow things so I could sleep. While in the bath my mom called back. I told her what was going on, but that things were chilling out and I was fine. She told me she hadn't even packed - which I laughed at. I told her I wasn't calling to have her come, but was just doing my due diligence and keeping her in the loop. I suspect that made her more crazy than if I hadn't called at all!

After that I went back to my bed, resumed my favorite position, and watched some TV and tried to get tired so I could fall asleep. The contractions spaced out, and backed off in length and intensity, although were still present enough to be timeable. I was still to uncomfortable to sleep. Around midnight, I finally decided to turn on my Hypnobabies "Relax Me" track and try to sleep.

39 weeks

Status: 39w3d

This week's picture:

This week's belly wrapped up for support:

I worked 4/18 and had some downtime, so I made this:

38 weeks

Status: 38w4d when I started this......39w3d when I finished!

This has been a busy week. I've thought about coming to post so many times about different things, but I was just too worn out to do it. So let's start from the beginning....

Saturday (38w) my friends Katie Reagin & Richee Edwards hosted a Blessingway for me. It was very simple, but very nice. The food was really yummy! My friend, Talitha Seibel, came and did beautiful henna on my belly (my own design) and on arms and legs of some of the guests. Everyone gifted me with beautiful beads, and heartfelt messages of their wishes for Little Foot's birth.

Here are some pictures from the event:

Monday (38w2d) was a very rough day for me. R, my 2-1/2 year old, was very clingy, and he is especially touchy right now. And, well, I'm not enjoying it. I'm happy to hold him and hug him, but I can't stand the feeling of little fingers all over me ALL.THE.TIME. And then in the evening I finally hit my last straw over some communication issues. I cried for a few hours, was comforted by a few friends, and hoped for a better day to come.

Tuesday (38w3d) I had my (now) weekly appointment. I was so excited to walk in and find Constance back in the office! She had been in a car accident a few weeks ago, and no one was sure when she would be back on her feet. It was definitely a pleasant surprise.  My belly continued to grow (up to 42cm now!), but everything else looked great. We still had some difficulty with Little Foot and the fetoscope, so we opted to try the doppler. Of course we could hear him loud and strong!

After my appointment, I went to a La Leche League meeting with my friend Nikki, and then went out to lunch and shopping at Target. Constance said I should take some time for ME, so that's what I did!

Things you only do when planning a homebirth...

Status: 37w4d

Yesterday I had my 37 week visit with Debbie. All the kids AND my mom came, plus 2/3 of the apprentices were there. Let's just say it was .... crowded. It was a good appt, but short. We were only there about 35 min. 

I gained 4 lbs in the last 3 weeks (which isn't bad with the swelling) bringing the total to 40. Bp was good, and belly measured at 41cm. Debbie agreed with me that the baby felt lower, although she fully expects me to go a couple more weeks. I do, too. We had trouble finding the baby with the fetoscope, so we brought out the Doppler. All the kids got super quiet and excited to hear the baby. It was so cute! He Had a beautiful strong HB at 136. 

Last night, I finally had Joel practice blowing up the birth pool on his own. After he got that done to a satisfactory level, I had him hook up the hose and practice filling it. We decided to leave those hose attached to the sink since we don't really use it. 

Then we got to practice emptying the pool! This is good in case he needs to take some cold water out for some reason. 

And here's our wall of supplies....

37 weeks!

Status: 37w2d

So this was 37 weeks on the dot.....

This was 37+1....

Me thinks he dropped.... :p The swelling in my feet (especially my right foot, where it tends to be worse) is also another clue. I have such a hard time mapping this kid, that it's honestly so hard for me to tell much of anything, really. 

This last week was a very long one - lots of cooking and getting ready for Passover. Then I worked yesterday. This week the kids are on Spring break for the holiday, and my mom has been here for the last week. We took the kids to a really cute place called Interactive Neighborhood for Kids today. In the "hospital" area Reuben found a stethoscope and immediately did this....

Adorable. 

Feeling a lot better this week, which is good because the chiros are out of town till Friday! 

Agenda for this week...

*midwife appointment

*maternity photo shoot

* Blessingway

Oh! And last week, one of

My midwives was in a terrible car wreck. She is ok, but recovering. I'm nervous about what this means for me....

36 weeks!

Status: 36w1d

Feeling cute today! For the first time EVER I have a super cute round belly! I guess 4th time's the charm, huh?

I'm feeling pretty good today, although yesterday (and this whole week) was rough. Lots of pain due to Little Foot having a growth spurt. Today was good - new haircut, did some shopping for Pesach, and just enjoying my cute bump. It's so much easier to do without the pain!

Home visit - check!

Status: 35w6d

Yesterday, we had our home visit. It was both exciting and nerve-wracking. Debbie was the midwife who came, along with Ashley (one of the apprentices - my favorite). Our doula, Kim, also made the trek up from Columbus to be there. 

It was a great visit. It's always a little surreal to have everyone come over - sort of like a dress rehearsal. I peed in a cup in my own bathroom and laid on my own bed to have my belly checked. This week, we measured 40cm, BP was perfect again, FHR was perfect in the 140's, and Little Foot was in a perfect LOa position. 

All of our supplies are gathered in our room, we've done the air test on the pool (still have to do a test fill), all that's left to do is gather food - but that will have to wait till after Pesach. 

I can't believe we are already here! 

35 weeks!

Status: 35w1d

This has been a busy week! Tuesday I had my 34 week appointment with Constance. Everything was great - measuring ahead still at 40cm, Little Foot's HR was 148, and my BP was a cool 114/68. I've been having trouble mapping the baby, so was happy to hear the MW found him to be LOT!

Home visit is in FOUR days!!!! Ayayay.

And here's the pic from today:

34 weeks

Status: 34w1d

Whew boy, it's been a very busy week! I was sick, then T, then E, then R. Today the sun came out, no one had a fever for the first time in over a week, and my nesting energy has kicked in!

First, here's an updated picture:

Today I started putting things away in the nursery/guest room. I organized the furniture, and tomorrow we will bolt it down.  I have a midwife appointment on Tuesday, and then the home visit is the week after!!!!! Time is FLYING now!

Check Up & Sick Time

Status: 33w

On Wed, I had my 32 week visit with the midwives. I was supposed to have a visit the week before, but due to scheduling conflicts and a winter storm, things had to be rescheduled. 

This visit, the kids all came with me for my visit with Debbie. We talked about the usual stuff, including the stress of finding out Reuben has to have surgery on March 18th (second one this pregnancy), and just general concerns. Little Foot was LOP (not good), and was still a little difficult to find with the fetoscope. Because of his position, my belly measurement didn't change from last month. 

Reuben had a good time "helping"...

Then, Wednesday night, I started to get sick. It first started with shortens of breath, cough, and some burning chest pain. Thursday things got a little worse - and the cough turned productive (it was very .... Colorful). Thursday night was miserable. I was coughing so much and choking on the sputum. I ended up refluxing a lot and almost vomiting. 

Friday morning I had had enough. I texted my backup doctor, Dr. Brad Bootstaylor. He offered to call me on antibiotics, but I requested to come in and be seen. I saw Nana Friday afternoon, and she was pretty convinced I just had a bad cold. I almost cried in the office. I just felt so bad, and didn't feel like it was a cold. But I decided to follow her advice and see where that took me.

Today (Sat), I stayed in bed most of the day. I sent Joel for Tylenol this morning because my throat, ears, chest, and face were hurting. We are ibuprofen people, so we don't even really keep the stuff in the house. After I took the first dose, the pain eased up (yay!), but I also noticed I got REALLY sweaty. Like soak all the sheets sweaty. Hmmmm.... That happens when I've had a fever. 

Around 4 PM, Dr. B texted me to see how I was feeling...

I sent Joel to pick up the meds and will start them tonight. In the meantime I'm using Tylenol and sudafed to make it through the evening. 

32 weeks!

Status: 32 weeks

Just keep growing, just keep growing....

Chugging along...

Status: 31w6d

So I was supposed to have a MW appointment this week, but due to some icy Winter weather I decided to reschedule to next week. I'm a little bummed, but it's ok. 

Today was my first of three scheduled prenatal massages (but my second of this pregnancy). It.was.AMAZING! I went back to see Becca Oakley of Magnolia Pregnancy Resource. I saw her twice at the end of my last pregnancy. It was as good as I remembered. I am a very happy pregnant lady :)

Also, I made s'more brownie pie....

Big.

Status: 31w2d

I feel huge. I AM huge. My husband, who never notices anything, mentioned I look bigger. My chiro mentioned it today, too. I hope it doesn't mean anything, but I guess only time will tell. 

31 weeks

Status: 31 weeks

Here's today's belly shot:

I attempted to measure my belly and got 38cm. I really Hope I'm off, but probably not by a lot. Still so much time to go....

30 weeks and running behind!

Status: 30w4d

I kept forgetting to take the pic!

Gotcha!

Status: 29w6d

I caught him! Ok, not really. What I mean is, I finally heard his heartbeat with my fetoscope! Just as predicted, it was right at 30 weeks. Looking forward to being able to check on my Little Foot whenever I please now... Not sure how he feels about that, though!

My Birth Landscape

Status: 29w4d

Yesterday (since it's after midnight), I came across a post on Facebook from Guina Bixler of Emerge Birth Services looking for a pregnant mom to do a free birth art exercise. No one had replied to the post from the night before, so I jumped at the opportunity. Something I have discovered in the last year, is that I really love art. I love making it. 

So tonight (although technically yesterday), I met up with Guina at her home, and she guided me through creating a landscape of how I see this birth going. She warned me that she would push me to add more, even when I thought I was done. She held to her word. Here is the result:

Afterward, she had me write about what I was thinking and feeling as I did the work...

*******

Ok, so I got to tired last night to finish this, plus typing it all out on a computer is way easier. And mostly, I wanted to share this:

Look familiar? This is the picture that comes to mind when someone asks me to describe my "happy place". I took this picture over 7 years ago, on one of my many visits to the Smoky mountains. I used to drive the 11 mile path through the national park and it was always so peaceful. It was a place rich with stories of the people who had lived there, but also felt open to new ones. 

So back to last night.....

When Guina asked me to draw my birth landscape, the colors and feelings evoked by this picture are what first came to mind. When I first started, I knew I wanted two things - to start in the lower right hand corner, and to start with green, smooth grass. A field. This was early labor. It's easy. Smooth sailing, really. Next, i knew I wanted to put a fence, like this one:

This fence represents my biggest hurdle, which is the moment when I invite my team into my birth space. It's not so much a hurdle for me to bring them in, but for me to know it is the right time. I don't know that that will make sense to a lot of people. It's hard to explain. I'm afraid to bring them in early, and risk having them leave me. It's complicated

Beyond the fence is so much beauty, but I have to get past the fence. I know it's there, I can see it. Mostly flat, with soft rolling hills, leading to a beautiful, pre-dusk sunset. In the distance is a home with smoke coming from the chimney. It is alive, and full of people and love. They are waiting for me. Everyone there wants to give of their energy and time to support me. I can choose to go in, or not. I can choose to go in, and come back out alone for awhile. Either way, it is my choice. 

On the periphery is a dark, thick forest of trees. This is the unknown. It's a little scary. There's a dark bird looming above the trees, watching me. This is the forest of the unplanned. A transfer. Previously, it was casting a shadow over the entire expanse of this landscape. I couldn't help but notice it as I watched friend after friend end their birth in an unplanned place and circumstance. I thought that if I pretended it wouldn't happen to me, than that would guarantee it would. That's horrible. It's never a good idea to deny something can happen, but we also can't continue to hide in the shadows of the looming threat. In my picture, it's to the side, in my periphery, where is should be. I can see it, acknowledge it, and not let it color my "landscape". 

After I got to this point, Guina saw I had paused. She pushed me to do more. I went back and evaluated what I had drawn. Was this really how I felt? For the most part, yes, but the beginning seemed too simple. There was more to it. I realized that my labors are emotionally the opposite of 99% of women. They are terribly challenging in the beginning, and fairly easy at the end. I know how to give birth. I am not afraid of the intensity. I welcome the experience, and hope it won't be too short to enjoy. 24 hours sounds ideal. 

So I went back to the beginning of my picture. I added some tall grass, with weed flowers. That's the end of pregnancy. It's beautiful, but much easier to enjoy looking from the outside. From the inside, you are just trudging along. I want to be more conscious of that, and try to enjoy it for what it is. then I added fog to my previously smooth grass before the fence. To me, this was the biggest "aha" moment. It is very easy to be in early labor, at least physically, but mentally and emotionally it can be very challenging. You can't see where the fence is. You know it's there, but you don't know when you will hit it. You can't see the other side of it. It's difficult to think, or find direction. 

*****

I absolutely LOVED doing this exercise. I feel some kind of high afterward, if that's even a thing. I'm finally excited about this birth, and not nervous. My doula and photographer (both named Kim) have both been equally excited about it, but I just couldn't get there. Well, I am now. The next 2-3 months will go both quickly, and slowly. I intend to try to enjoy every minute of it. Little Foot and I deserve it.<3

29 weeks!

Status: 29w2d

Feeling huge, but not terribly uncomfortable. Sporting quite the bump these days!

28 weeks!

Status: 28 weeks

Hello, 3rd trimester! Only 9 more weeks until we are home birth eligible, and then up to 5 ish more weeks after that. So somewhere in there we will finally get to meet this little bugger! 

Today, I finally had enough of the now constant pubic pain and decided to really try to figure out this belly wrapping thing. After failing with both a size 4 Storch and a gauze wrap, I finally got something decent with my Wrapsody hybrid. It's still a work in progress, but it's helping. 

I also never got a chance to post about my midwife visit last Tuesday (27w3d). Everything was great, except still measuring large (and in charge) at 34cm. I will try to get the audio from the doppler uploaded ASAP!

27 weeks!

Status: 27w2d

I took these pictures yesterday...

And my view...

26 weeks!

Status: 26w2d

Chugging right along, aren't we? Almost to the end of second trimester!

Image courtesy of Aunt Joann's bathroom mirror 

25 weeks!

Status: 25w1d

Your weekly pictures.....

And my view....

Kicks and Wiggles Caught on Tape!

Status: 25w1d

Two nights ago, I was laying in bed watching 13 Going On 30 and Little Foot decided he had quite the opinion about it! He was wiggling and kicking so much that you could see my belly jump! I decided to record his actions, so here they are!

A big milestone.

Status: 24 weeks

Twenty four weeks. 2-4. I've never had the reality of a premature baby, but this milestone is a really big deal in my mind. Today, Little Foot is a baby. What I mean is, he's viable. Although it would mean a huge struggle, he *could* have a chance of survival if he was born anytime after today. 

That's a really big deal. 

From here, on, we just want to keep him safe and cozy until he is really ready to live and thrive outside on his own - hopefully at least another 15 weeks. 

Here are some pictures for today: 

And my view....

High five, Dad!

Status: 23w5d

Last night was New Year's Eve, and as such lots of apple juice was consumed. One thing I have discovered about Little Foot is that he either loves or hates the stuff. Every time I drink it, he moves a lot. So last night, as he was rolling and readjusting, I had Joel put his hand on my belly - and he got to feel him move! What a wonderful way to ring in the new year!

23 Week Appointment

Status: 23 weeks, 5 days

On Tuesday (12/30/14), at 23w3d, we had a visit with the midwife. We saw Constance this time, and all the big kids came with me! It was a little exhausting, but the kids were pretty good. They were especially excited to hear Little Foot's heartbeat. Surprisingly, my BP was on the low side, despite the chaos! FHR was 152, my belly measured 26cm (so a tiny bit ahead, but perfect per the midwife). And here is your dose of beautiful baby sound!